eM Dharma எம் தர்மா

Wonder Reflective Mind

2011-03-10T10:58:00.001+05:30

Today, my seven year old son Siddharth, looking at his reflection on the mirror reflected, 'appa, how do you know everything that is reflected off the mirror is correct?'.

Although scientific explanations exist, I did not want to quash his curiosity by giving a straight answer. Instead we moved on to other subjects essentially leaving this concept untouched.

I remember back in my childhood, I had a similar curiosity. I used to wonder if objects that we look at continue to be around when we don't see them. To clarify my doubt, I've tried looking away and quickly turning, or rotating my eyes towards the object in question. I never got to disprove or approve of my doubts. However I recently read a curious article (couldn't track back) that claimed scientific theories postulating non-presence of objects when there are no photons (light rays) reflected back by them or when there was no observer watching it by reading the photons so emitted or reflected from them. Their explanation is that the photons loose energy and drop off even before they were seen - but it wasn't clear where they may fall.

We live in a curious world that we may liken to be understood completely but there are certain things in life that are worth their mystery. That doesn't mean learning has to stop. Learning through observation needs our observation but not intrusion to know the reality. The moment we start observing the reflection could be different from reality. Can't it - how do we even prove it?

Think of the times you've seen your reflection on the mirror. Most of the time you'd see a bubbly smiling person looking back at you. Contrast that with a candid shot of yourself appearing in a photo magazine. I'm sure it would be hard to believe it's the same person. Well, that too might not be reality. Although candid, your sixth sense triggers a sense in you that something or someone is observing you. Left alone to yourself with no direct or indirect intrusive observation you may be a totally different thing.

Alone sitting by yourself tuned into your thoughts without making any judgment, just letting them pass by helps us get closer to the core of our own being. A reflective mind can cause the slightest disturbance that is good enough to cause pretentious alterations. A nonchalant moment between intervals of thought can give us that elusive opportunity to find our real self.

Coming back to Siddharth, I wonder what is going on in his mind right now and every time he looks into a mirror. It's an amazing feeling of wonderment that a grown mind can never tap into. So I'm going to let it stay with him and evolve with him as he grows.

I think I have a wall right behind me as I type this because I saw it was there when I started it. I dare not look back and alter it's reality! Share with me your experiences of wonderful things in life that you always wondered about and still continue to wonder. Keep wondering.

Witness your mind through your body

2010-06-08T23:03:00.004+05:30

Mind is constantly dynamic. It's often compared to a wild horse or to the monkey jumping across branches. It's of course an effective tool, but will certainly come in the way if you are a seeker. There are several techniques to being a witness to oneself and one's own mind as it wavers. In the end, the witness detaches effectively from the turbulent mind. This is often compared to the way water slips off a lotus leaf even though lotus floats on a huge body of water.

It's certainly not an easy task to watch your mind. To the beginner a few moments of witnessing is good enough to get carried away into a never ending abyss of thoughts.

Awareness should start with the physical layer - the body. Watching the body is easy but is similar to watching the mind. Start with one activity at a time. It could be breathing or posture or voluntary relaxation of muscles or blinking whichever is easier. Then slowly start watching one more physical activity. By and by there would be a conscious witnessing of yourself that is no different from watching your mind.

Watching the body can have interesting observations. In these pages I'm planning to share my own experiences. These are observations done over a period of time that is more than at least three weeks so I understand the difference between what is imagined or perceived and what actually goes on.

Ankle watching
Much earlier than midlife set in, I suffered minor back injuries due to my work. On a trip to Japan, I noticed images of a commercial on special shoes that keeps the ankle straight and relieves people of their back problems. I sure did not buy the product, but curiously started observing my ankle and the ankles of others.
- First of all, it took me some effort to keep the ankle straight whilst involved in day to day chores.
- Secondly, it made me more aware of my legs that were till then a forgotten asset.
- After a few days of observation and constant reminding, I could feel a positive effect on my back
- Walking and running gait improved
- It's been more than five years now and I can vouch for it as a principal remedy to my back ache

Now the big question, what has ankle watching got to do with witnessing and witnessing my mind?

The conscious repetition of a remedy appealed to me the same way as a 'mantra' works in a meditation. It takes the attention off the distractions and focuses the mind on a single subject. Constant corrections meant knowing when I wasn't keeping my ankle straight and immediately switching to the right posture. This not only puts the ankle on the right foot, but the whole body follows suit and a momentary relaxation of the entire system. However, in a busy day, this may happen as glimpses or may not even happen.

Ankle position while walking was much more easier to control since a straight ankle meant a better gait and efficient movement and not to mention the stride is smoother. If you are like me and enjoy being noticed then ankle watching wouldn't be too difficult to try while walking especially when there are lots of people around.

Watching other people's ankles acted as an experimental process that led to convincing myself that I was doing things right. There are people who walk with both ankles pointed outward, some do just one ankle and develop a mild limp, for some while running one of the ankles does a anti-clockwise semicircle, overweight individuals tend to spread their ankles, when tensed people tend to sit on the edge of their seats while their ankle is pointed upward and toes pressed to the floor, children learning to walk spread their ankles, and many more. I was initially tempted to write an entire article about ankle posture but decided not to get too technical and complicate things.

It was fun and a step towards understanding my body better than before with just one repetitive witnessing activity involving a body part. Also made the entire body react and relax. The moments of such undisturbed or unwavering mind through a well supported body were such a pleasure to hang around with!

Here's what I'm currently watching:

Lifting weights
Blink
Tummy breathing
Why do I keep raising my hands and stretching back during work?
What gives me a high to what does it mean to be on a high?

Purpose of my life

2009-02-24T04:46:00.007+05:30

An Abundance of Health, Wealth, Love and Joy.

An Abundance of Health, Wealth, Love and Joy.
To flourish in my kingdom for everyone to experience
when they come in touch.

An Abundance of Health, Wealth, Love and Joy.
To all those who come under the fold
be they wishful or inert.

An Abundance of Health, Wealth, Love and Joy.

An Abundance of Health, Wealth, Love and Joy.
Health be of the body and mind;
The greatest wealth of all to cherish for life.

An Abundance of Health, Wealth, Love and Joy.
Wealth buys everything by giving;
Giving comes more natural than it is to take.

An Abundance of Health, Wealth, Love and Joy.
All of them for a vital life be it a need or a greater purpose,
passes through existence if one wills to be a medium.

Abundance of Health, Abundance of Wealth,
Abundance of Love and Abundance of Joy.

An Abundance of Love that sustains life
grows it stronger and wills it to love
through an overflowing kindness and love for existence.

An Abundance of Joy, the ultimate goal of life.
Joy - come what may even in the face of death.

Love and Joy, the essence of life,
an end in itself.
Health and Wealth merely a means
to the ultimate in life.

An Abundance of Health, Wealth, Love and Joy.
That is my prayer for all of existence
Thereby my purpose in life.

Back to Consciousness

2006-09-17T09:28:00.000+05:30

I'm ashamed to be back at square one.
Ashamed of betraying myself.
A resolve broken piecing the integrity.
So boastful was I to have quit.
Who is to be blamed if not an ignorant self?
The self of which the resolve was born and
Soon to be shattered for no reason credible
Than the ignorance that sprouted through
The cracks that life left on the hardened
Mind in its boastful self-lost ignorance
Nothing was lost in fact there was more
To be gained in the progressive excellence.
The heavens of freedom opened up and
There I saw me slipping off the edges
Consciously helpless through the clouds of
Arrogant self denial screaming with
Pain that was wrought into every cell
Out of thoughts that never helped me
Elevate the gravity of a grounding
Evil pilgrimage on the rocky terrain beneath
Cracking more skin oozing of desires
Spilling gruesome seeds of pesty
Weeds of anti-wisdom leaving behind
A rough unconscious dead self - walking
Amidst ignorant smoke and dirty pleasures
That kill not just purity but the stealthy
Character of pure consciousness that descended
On a lucky note out of penance so revered
Over the path I took out of free will
And natural potency to reach the omnipotence
That surfaces the soul when the consciousness
Is highest among the human lot where
I met the fluidal states of etheric
Effervescence emanating from gulps of
Poison that hurts every cell and much beneath
God and Life still give me hope to
Ascend the path that I left behind
For, the journey still continues and the path
Has a map mentally plot of which this
Is just a tiny step insignificant leveling
Sub-atomic proportions in front of the infallible
Power potent within not just the faint
Hearted but deep in the deepest cores of
Hope paired prettily with confidence looking
Upon to the day of reckoning to all miseries.

(oupouring on a night when I decided to quit again)

How to be happy and sad?

2005-07-20T14:42:00.000+05:30

A life long happiness is something to be viewed as a continuous process. Don't take it in bits and pieces. Be happy in a wholesome way. Enjoy life as a happy whole. Happiness is in the process than in the result. It's not a result of something we do, but our doing it embodies happiness.

Suffering is a little different. It is always a result of something done or not done. Being sad is the opposite of life. Sorrow, suffering or actions that result in sorrow need to be taken in smaller chunks than as a continuum. For, sorrow is not life. It's the lack of happiness. Lack of sorrow is not happiness, but lack of happiness is sorrow. Happiness is so natural as life is. No effort is needed to be happy. Sorrow needs action, effort and thinking.

By taking sorrow in bits and pieces, in taking it one step at a time, life can be a pleasure. Forget everything about why or how you felt sad about something. Grow up to the next set of challenges ahead. At each step in the phase, forget the feelings that happened earlier and move on. Get rid of the feelings and detoxify the system before moving on.

(written in Mumbai airport lounge in the early hours of a tiring day)

Paradoxes of my life

2005-06-16T16:42:00.000+05:30

The love that buries behind
veils of noises and incoherence.
The days I spend in
solitude among loved ones.

The verses I keep to myself
fearing sunlight forever.
The spends out of
my empty wallet.

The time we spend to
make each other happy.
And fall into a deep
silence when we meet again.

The sun - the life giver
hurts the eye when met.

(written under circumstances that left me with lack of expression in words, money and love)

Greatest Stress Reliever

2005-05-25T10:49:00.000+05:30

Forgiveness.

Natural Law - cycles of birth and death

2005-03-29T15:53:00.000+05:30

Life comes full circle - not once, but every moment.

Every week in my life has days when I'm high, energetic, creative and happy. There are days when I'm sad, feeling low, irritable and angry. Cycles of birth and death don't come once in a lifetime or once every rebirth, they happen around us, always.

Saints and philosophers have spoken enough about the cycles and the means of beating them. So what really are these cycles? Here I ponder...

Natural law has a way of perfoming a balancing act. It gives us equal amounts of pain and ecstacy, equal quantities of hardships and joy. I've come to understand that when there is a ascension in one direction, the other side tends to go down.

In all our sorrows, we have a lesson to learn. We come in tune with the inner self. We understand one more aspect of our being. So what does happiness have in store for us? Whenever we are happy, we forget to think of ourselves. We become extraverts. We rarely think of the inner being when thing are going the right way. Natural law suggests that happiness too has learnings out of it. The learning I got is that any happiness has a equal and opposite sorrow, if not now, going forward, or has happened sometime back. Now how forward or back is a tough one to answer. It could be minutes or years or rebirths. The deeper we imagine, the tougher it gets. But one could find it for oneself.

So next time you are filled with unhappiness, understand that a karma is being served or a happiness is on the charts. Don't take my word for it. Observe your own lives and then realise how often the cycles repeat. Is there a way to beat the cycle. Yes they say and I agree with them.

Meditation

Meditation takes us to a median. It makes us moderate and liberates us from the cycles of birth and death... sorrow and happiness. Liberation is not for the outer world, it's for the seer of the world. The way we see things change and we are able to liberate ourselves from the position of a victim or a doer to the level of a witness.

As a witness, it's like watching a soap opera. Laugh when there is a lighter scene and sob when you can't take it. As a witness, it does not happen to you, it happens to a person you are watching. Just sit back and relax. That is the state meditation can take us to. It can't rid us off sorrow, it can't give us happiness. But it can liberate us from the clutches of these cycles. It can put us in the seat of a referee.

Meditation is not the only way out of the never ending roller-coaster called cycles of birth and death. There are other ways too. For the grounded and introverted, meditation works best. For others (depending on their temperament) they could try any of these:

Bakthi
Kriya (Yoga)
Slokas (Veda)
Karma Yoga

Will try to delve deeper into each of these as I grow wiser (or older).

no mind

2004-11-10T19:05:00.000+05:30

From mind to no-mind is a journey of a lifetime. There are moments when I'm so engrossed in thoughts - I forget even my presence. The moment I start observing the thoughts, they start waning into nothingness, like a stream (that I'm sitting beside and watching) suddenly dropped southward into a hole on it's path.

Life is so boring without thoughts though, because I've been living with them from the day I lost my innocence. Thinking of the next holiday as a kid, thinking of females when I grew up (I do that even now), thinking of life when responsibilities grew as hair started falling!

Thoughts - what is this incredible thing that keeps me imprisioned in a cocoon of imagery and a world not seen. They are different from my dreams, because I can observe that I am thinking unlike in a dream where I'm unaware of the state of imagination. It's a feel good factor when things simply don't move the way I want them to... when my boss does not understand your aspirations, I still could think about gaining power over situations one day.

They also create an anti-real transformation in the body-mind and the circumstances. I think and imagine to have a quiet evening at home and am plesantly driving down the road, when somebody from nowhere cuts in front - I jam the brakes. Blood rushes just enof to spill out of my eyes and gasping heart. Transformation through circumstances. What happened to the quiet evening and the bliss of home? It's nowhere. The bubble is burst... Streams of cursing, thinking (again) and repenting what was not.

Think - think of not thinking. No thoughts come to my mind when I think about what I am thinking. When the mind is a no-mind, when thoughts break open to reality... the real is bliss. Reality harms the body-mind NOT. In reality, I react. In thoughts I react and carry the load into the system. Reality is light while thoughts burden my shoulders, shorten my breath, stiffen my muscles and make me old.

I thank the God for the moments of bliss that I encounter by way of no-mind experiences.

eM Dharma