Of straight ones over bendy ones

Thirukkural - in my view this literary marvel is equivalent to the modern day twitter. In just 7 words each kural contains a broad or a deep meaning. To say the meanings are relevant to even modern life, is just a label more than anything. One should live these verses one day each to appreciate deeper and to have a good life. 

It's my attempt at one such verse here and hope to transliterate a few in my life time here or somewhere. 

An arrow though straight is still cruel. Though the harp isn't straight its harmless. One can understand the nature of people only by their behaviour never by how they appear. 

Wonder Reflective Mind

Today, my seven year old son Siddharth, looking at his reflection on the mirror reflected, 'appa, how do you know everything that is reflected off the mirror is correct?'.

Although scientific explanations exist, I did not want to quash his curiosity by giving a straight answer. Instead we moved on to other subjects essentially leaving this concept untouched.

I remember back in my childhood, I had a similar curiosity. I used to wonder if objects that we look at continue to be around when we don't see them. To clarify my doubt, I've tried looking away and quickly turning, or rotating my eyes towards the object in question. I never got to disprove or approve of my doubts. However I recently read a curious article (couldn't track back) that claimed scientific theories postulating non-presence of objects when there are no photons (light rays) reflected back by them or when there was no observer watching it by reading the photons so emitted or reflected from them. Their explanation is that the photons loose energy and drop off even before they were seen - but it wasn't clear where they may fall.

We live in a curious world that we may liken to be understood completely but there are certain things in life that are worth their mystery. That doesn't mean learning has to stop. Learning through observation needs our observation but not intrusion to know the reality. The moment we start observing the reflection could be different from reality. Can't it - how do we even prove it?

Think of the times you've seen your reflection on the mirror. Most of the time you'd see a bubbly smiling person looking back at you. Contrast that with a candid shot of yourself appearing in a photo magazine. I'm sure it would be hard to believe it's the same person. Well, that too might not be reality. Although candid, your sixth sense triggers a sense in you that something or someone is observing you. Left alone to yourself with no direct or indirect intrusive observation you may be a totally different thing.

Alone sitting by yourself tuned into your thoughts without making any judgment, just letting them pass by helps us get closer to the core of our own being. A reflective mind can cause the slightest disturbance that is good enough to cause pretentious alterations. A nonchalant moment between intervals of thought can give us that elusive opportunity to find our real self.

Coming back to Siddharth, I wonder what is going on in his mind right now and every time he looks into a mirror. It's an amazing feeling of wonderment that a grown mind can never tap into. So I'm going to let it stay with him and evolve with him as he grows.

I think I have a wall right behind me as I type this because I saw it was there when I started it. I dare not look back and alter it's reality! Share with me your experiences of wonderful things in life that you always wondered about and still continue to wonder. Keep wondering.

Witness your mind through your body

Mind is constantly dynamic. It's often compared to a wild horse or to the monkey jumping across branches. It's of course an effective tool, but will certainly come in the way if you are a seeker. There are several techniques to being a witness to oneself and one's own mind as it wavers. In the end, the witness detaches effectively from the turbulent mind. This is often compared to the way water slips off a lotus leaf even though lotus floats on a huge body of water. 

It's certainly not an easy task to watch your mind. To the beginner a few moments of witnessing is good enough to get carried away into a never ending abyss of thoughts. 

Awareness should start with the physical layer - the body. Watching the body is easy but is similar to watching the mind. Start with one activity at a time. It could be breathing or posture or voluntary relaxation of muscles or blinking whichever is easier. Then slowly start watching one more physical activity. By and by there would be a conscious witnessing of yourself that is no different from watching your mind. 


Watching the body can have interesting observations. In these pages I'm planning to share my own experiences. These are observations done over a period of time that is more than at least three weeks so I understand the difference between what is imagined or perceived and what actually goes on. 


Ankle watching
Much earlier than midlife set in, I suffered minor back injuries due to my work. On a trip to Japan, I noticed images of a commercial on special shoes that keeps the ankle straight and relieves people of their back problems. I sure did not buy the product, but curiously started observing my ankle and the ankles of others. 
 - First of all, it took me some effort to keep the ankle straight whilst involved in day to day chores. 
 - Secondly, it made me more aware of my legs that were till then a forgotten asset. 
 - After a few days of observation and constant reminding, I could feel a positive effect on my back
 - Walking and running gait improved
 - It's been more than five years now and I can vouch for it as a principal remedy to my back ache


Now the big question, what has ankle watching got to do with witnessing and witnessing my mind? 


The conscious repetition of a remedy appealed to me the same way as a 'mantra' works in a meditation. It takes the attention off the distractions and focuses the mind on a single subject. Constant corrections meant knowing when I wasn't keeping my ankle straight and immediately switching to the right posture. This not only puts the ankle on the right foot, but the whole body follows suit and a momentary relaxation of the entire system. However, in a busy day, this may happen as glimpses or may not even happen. 


Ankle position while walking was much more easier to control since a straight ankle meant a better gait and efficient movement and not to mention the stride is smoother. If you are like me and enjoy being noticed then ankle watching wouldn't be too difficult to try while walking especially when there are lots of people around. 


Watching other people's ankles acted as an experimental process that led to convincing myself that I was doing things right. There are people who walk with both ankles pointed outward, some do just one ankle and develop a mild limp, for some while running one of the ankles does a anti-clockwise semicircle, overweight individuals tend to spread their ankles, when tensed people tend to sit on the edge of their seats while their ankle is pointed upward and toes pressed to the floor, children learning to walk spread their ankles, and many more. I was initially tempted to write an entire article about ankle posture but decided not to get too technical and complicate things. 


It was fun and a step towards understanding my body better than before with just one repetitive witnessing activity involving a body part. Also made the entire body react and relax. The moments of such undisturbed or unwavering mind through a well supported body were such a pleasure to hang around with! 


Here's what I'm currently watching:

• Lifting weights
• Blink
• Tummy breathing
• Why do I keep raising my hands and stretching back during work?
• What gives me a high to what does it mean to be on a high?

Purpose of my life

An Abundance of Health, Wealth, Love and Joy.

An Abundance of Health, Wealth, Love and Joy.
To flourish in my kingdom for everyone to experience
when they come in touch.

An Abundance of Health, Wealth, Love and Joy.
To all those who come under the fold
be they wishful or inert.

An Abundance of Health, Wealth, Love and Joy.

An Abundance of Health, Wealth, Love and Joy.
Health be of the body and mind;
The greatest wealth of all to cherish for life.

An Abundance of Health, Wealth, Love and Joy.
Wealth buys everything by giving;
Giving comes more natural than it is to take.

An Abundance of Health, Wealth, Love and Joy.
All of them for a vital life be it a need or a greater purpose,
passes through existence if one wills to be a medium.

Abundance of Health, Abundance of Wealth,
Abundance of Love and Abundance of Joy.

An Abundance of Love that sustains life
grows it stronger and wills it to love
through an overflowing kindness and love for existence.

An Abundance of Joy, the ultimate goal of life.
Joy - come what may even in the face of death.

Love and Joy, the essence of life,
an end in itself.
Health and Wealth merely a means
to the ultimate in life.

An Abundance of Health, Wealth, Love and Joy.
That is my prayer for all of existence
Thereby my purpose in life.

Back to Consciousness

I'm ashamed to be back at square one.
Ashamed of betraying myself.
A resolve broken piecing the integrity.
So boastful was I to have quit.
Who is to be blamed if not an ignorant self?
The self of which the resolve was born and
Soon to be shattered for no reason credible
Than the ignorance that sprouted through
The cracks that life left on the hardened
Mind in its boastful self-lost ignorance
Nothing was lost in fact there was more
To be gained in the progressive excellence.
The heavens of freedom opened up and
There I saw me slipping off the edges
Consciously helpless through the clouds of
Arrogant self denial screaming with
Pain that was wrought into every cell
Out of thoughts that never helped me
Elevate the gravity of a grounding
Evil pilgrimage on the rocky terrain beneath
Cracking more skin oozing of desires
Spilling gruesome seeds of pesty
Weeds of anti-wisdom leaving behind
A rough unconscious dead self - walking
Amidst ignorant smoke and dirty pleasures
That kill not just purity but the stealthy
Character of pure consciousness that descended
On a lucky note out of penance so revered
Over the path I took out of free will
And natural potency to reach the omnipotence
That surfaces the soul when the consciousness
Is highest among the human lot where
I met the fluidal states of etheric
Effervescence emanating from gulps of
Poison that hurts every cell and much beneath
God and Life still give me hope to
Ascend the path that I left behind
For, the journey still continues and the path
Has a map mentally plot of which this
Is just a tiny step insignificant leveling
Sub-atomic proportions in front of the infallible
Power potent within not just the faint
Hearted but deep in the deepest cores of
Hope paired prettily with confidence looking
Upon to the day of reckoning to all miseries.

(oupouring on a night when I decided to quit again)

How to be happy and sad?

A life long happiness is something to be viewed as a continuous process. Don't take it in bits and pieces. Be happy in a wholesome way. Enjoy life as a happy whole. Happiness is in the process than in the result. It's not a result of something we do, but our doing it embodies happiness.

Suffering is a little different. It is always a result of something done or not done. Being sad is the opposite of life. Sorrow, suffering or actions that result in sorrow need to be taken in smaller chunks than as a continuum. For, sorrow is not life. It's the lack of happiness. Lack of sorrow is not happiness, but lack of happiness is sorrow. Happiness is so natural as life is. No effort is needed to be happy. Sorrow needs action, effort and thinking.

By taking sorrow in bits and pieces, in taking it one step at a time, life can be a pleasure. Forget everything about why or how you felt sad about something. Grow up to the next set of challenges ahead. At each step in the phase, forget the feelings that happened earlier and move on. Get rid of the feelings and detoxify the system before moving on.

(written in Mumbai airport lounge in the early hours of a tiring day)

Paradoxes of my life

The love that buries behind
veils of noises and incoherence.
The days I spend in
solitude among loved ones.

The verses I keep to myself
fearing sunlight forever.
The spends out of
my empty wallet.

The time we spend to
make each other happy.
And fall into a deep
silence when we meet again.

The sun - the life giver
hurts the eye when met.

(written under circumstances that left me with lack of expression in words, money and love)